“When you hear hoof beats, think horses, not zebras.”
Versions of this popular aphorism are attributed to Theodore Woodward, a professor at the University of Maryland School of Medicine in the 1940s. He advised medical students to consider the most likely and obvious diagnosis of patients first and not to fall prey to immediately thinking there was an exotic or rare illness involved.
That’s pretty good advice for anyone.
But in the case of the missing USPS Priority Mail package I wrote about in detail last Friday, it turned out there clearly was a zebra involved.
Weeks ago, I mailed my tax accountant a package containing various W2s, 1099s, assorted forms, and other tax-related documents to prepare my state and federal tax returns. But I received a notice through the USPS tracking number that the package was undeliverable and thus would be returned.
I confirmed the undelivered status of the errant mail package with local postal clerks. They counseled patience while I waited for its return. And they advised there is no mechanism to track returned priority mail.
So I waited.
And waited.
And then waited more.
But finally, right about the time the March 25 edition of the Finger Lakes Times was reaching mailboxes, I reluctantly emailed an apologetic message to my accountant saying my tax information package appeared lost in transit and we needed to think about filing extensions for my tax returns.
Her office is a whirlwind of activity as Tax Day approaches. Even if my information package suddenly appeared, it would be dicey whether she would be able to get the complicated returns completed.
But if my accountant had responded saying I won the lottery, I don’t think I would have been much more stunned.
“I did receive your package,” she wrote back.
All these weeks of fretting and waiting, it had been sitting on her desk.
Incredible.
Her office was the last place — literally — I expected the package to surface. After all, the USPS official tracking data clearly said it had not been delivered. And, as best could be ascertained by the postal staff, it was likely somewhere in the ever-churning return mail cycle.
So, why didn’t I contact my tax accountant right away?
It seemed a huge waste of time to ask her to sift through the towering stacks of files and incoming mail she receives when clearly — clearly — according to the official priority tracking number and postal staff, my tax information package simply wasn’t there.
However, a reward from last week’s missing-mail column was receiving from readers numerous tales of mail gaffes. Among them was a report from a regular Geneva reader that my column had given him a touch of postal PTSD stemming from issues he had experienced several years ago.
Another friend in California was just about to head to the post office to mail his tax paperwork but did a quick about-face and headed to a more dependable private mail carrier to send his packet.
“Your timely report confirmed my own annual worst fears and nightmares about lost tax paperwork,” he wrote.
This whole episode convinced me to be much less cavalier about sending important documents through the mail. I remain a USPS fan in general, though less enamored with priority mail.
It also reminded me that in the decades since Theodore Woodward was giving his students advice about horses and zebras, medical folks have added a thoughtful caveat to his words.
In addition to “when you hear hoof beats, think horses,” medical students are very likely to be taught “but be prepared for zebras.”
Good advice too.